Elkan’s Light: Why Our Son’s Story Has to Change More Than Our Family
- Elkans Light
- Jun 30
- 5 min read
When we decided to launch Elkan’s Light, people asked the same question in different ways: “Why go public with something so painful?” The answer is simple and impossible at the same time: because keeping quiet would mean accepting that what happened to our son is just “one of those things”. And it isn’t.
This first blog post is our way of setting out, in one place, why this charity exists, who it is for, and what we are determined to change.
Our son, Elkan
On 1 September 2025, our son, Elkan Udoeyo‑Kabiri, was born and died on the same day. His name means “God has created”. To us, it now also means “the child whose life exposed a preventable gap”.
Joy had undergone a LLETZ procedure before pregnancy, a treatment on the cervix that can increase the risk of preterm birth. She disclosed this at her booking appointment. It was written down. It should have triggered extra surveillance and a referral to specialist preterm birth care.
It didn’t.
Joy was never referred to a preterm birth clinic. No one offered the cervical length scan recommended for women with this history at the crucial point in pregnancy. Later, when she attended the Maternity Assessment Unit with changing symptoms, she was assessed and sent home.
Months after Elkan died, the hospital’s Chief Nursing Officer wrote to confirm there had been missed opportunities in Joy’s care and that, had certain steps been taken earlier, there might have been a chance to reduce the risk of losing him.
That letter was our turning point.
A preventable gap and why it matters
The most painful part of our story is not only that we lost our baby, but that his death sits in the space between what should happen and what actually happened.
Guidelines already exist.
Women with certain risk factors, including a history of cervical surgery like LLETZ, should be flagged, monitored and offered additional checks.
Yet in real life, those processes can break down: risk factors get recorded but not acted on; referrals don’t happen; symptoms get minimised; women are sent home when they need more caution, not less.
And this does not happen evenly.
Across the UK, families in the most deprived areas continue to experience higher rates of stillbirth and neonatal death than those in less deprived areas. Black and Asian families, and those from some other minoritised ethnic backgrounds, face stubbornly higher risks in both baby loss and maternal death. In other words: postcode and ethnicity are still shaping who is most likely to lose a baby or a mother.
Elkan’s story is ours, but the pattern it exposes is much bigger.
Why we created Elkan’s Light
We founded Elkan’s Light because we could not accept that our son’s death would simply become another statistic, another line in a report that gets read and then shelved.
This charity exists to do three things:
Protect more pregnancies through simple, practical information
We want women, partners and families to understand key risks, such as LLETZ history, changes in a baby’s movements, or symptoms that are “fobbed off” as nothing, and to have clear words they can use at appointments.
When you are tired, scared or unsure, it helps to have a script:
“My history includes…”
“I am not reassured, please document this and escalate.”
“Can you explain how my care follows current guidance?”
Tackle inequalities in maternity care
We are especially focused on communities where outcomes are worse, and trust in services is often lower, including Black and Asian families and those in deprived postcodes.
We want to take complex reports and turn them into plain‑language tools, videos and resources that families can use before they ever set foot in a clinic.
Support families after loss – not just mothers, but everyone affected
Baby loss does not stop at the delivery room. It hits parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, colleagues. It affects your mental health, your ability to work or study, your relationships and your sense of self. Through coaching, practical guidance and community, we want to help families stabilise, find language for what happened, set boundaries, return to work or education in safer ways, and eventually explore what rebuilding might look like.
What makes Elkan’s Light different?
We are not approaching this as an abstract issue. We are Elkan’s parents.
Joy speaks as a Black woman whose risk factors were known but not acted on, and as a mother who trusted a system that did not fully protect her or her baby.
Daniel brings his experience as a lecturer, mentor and coach, used to walking with people through trauma, change and difficult conversations at work and in education.
Together, we are building a charity that combines lived experience, evidence and practical tools. We are not here just to generate awareness; we are here to change behaviour in clinics, in communities, at work and at home.
That means:
Creating free, accessible resources and videos to help families ask better questions and recognise when something is not right.
Partnering with health professionals, organisations and campaigners who are already working to close the gap between guidelines and reality.
Speaking honestly about resilience, grief and the long tail of preventable loss.
Our promise to families
If you are pregnant now, planning a pregnancy, or living with the loss of a baby, here is our promise:
We will always speak plainly about risk and responsibility.
We will never blame you for what a system did or did not do.
We will offer tools and scripts you can use, not just theories.
We will centre those most at risk, especially Black and Asian families and those in deprived communities.
We will say our son’s name, and we will encourage you to say your baby’s name too.
Elkan’s Light is our way of refusing to let his life be reduced to a footnote. It is our way of making sure his story becomes part of a wider change.
How you can help
If you have read this far, thank you. It means our son’s story has reached you, and that matters to us more than you know.
Right now, we are a growing charity with big work to do and limited resources to do it.
Your support can help us:
Produce and share more evidence‑based videos and tools for families at risk
Reach more communities facing inequality in maternity care
Provide coaching and support for parents, partners and families after loss
Build partnerships that push for safer, more accountable care.
If you are able, please consider making a donation to Elkan’s Light today. However small or large, your gift helps turn one preventable loss into a legacy of protection, advocacy and hope for other families.
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